Healthy Relationships: Repair Harm Contracts

Mandy Friedman and Michelle Minette, specialists in healing from Narcissistic Abuse, discuss how to repair harm in healthy relationships.

Repair Harm Contracts repair emotional damage in relationships due to harm or conflict, whether intentional or unintentional, by addressing our unwritten social contracts with each other that establish trust, loyalty, and compassion for one another. Instead of merely addressing the wrong–in addition to replacing the item lost or following through on a broken promise, they provide some assurance for investment in the continuation of the relationship. Rather than feeling crappy and guilty about hurting someone you love, you get the opportunity to “fix it” and feel better about yourself and how others see you.

Repair Harm Contracts should exist between every two people in a household and/or relationship. Take time to sit down and discuss what the two of you value sharing together that one provides and the other receives. The activities for repairing harm cannot be punishment or feel like servitude, rather are things one person enjoys giving to the other who enjoys receiving it. Sign the contract and agree that once harm is repaired, the incident will not be revisited.

They are especially important for children of divorce, so they can learn that relationships can be repaired. Children who have witnessed narcissistic abuse can benefit greatly from this Repair Harm Contracts, as it switches the focus from a relationship based on power and control to a relationship based on compassion and emotional intimacy.

For those healing from narcissistic abuse, I strongly recommend Repair Harm Contracts as a blueprint for finding safety in the vulnerability of admitting a wrong and healing the harm in a safe way with trusted others.

Get started now by using the Repair Harm in Relationships Contract

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To contact Mandy Friedman visit her website.

Disclaimer: This content is intended for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for mental health treatment. It is important for survivors of abuse to find mental health professionals who understand trauma and abusive relationships. Please seek support from trusted and trained practitioners. This content is not meant to be used by anyone as diagnostic criteria. Permissions have not been granted for anyone to utilize this material as a source to make allegations about specific individuals. Any online content produced by Michelle Minette and F! All That Wellness Coaching is an educational discussion about narcissism which is a descriptive term for tendencies and behavioral patterns. Individuals with narcissistic features or tendencies do not necessarily meet DSM-5 diagnostic criteria. The terms narcissistic and narcissism are used as descriptions of tendencies and behaviors and are not meant as clinical terms.